5 Alternative Titles for ‘The Master’

Ahhh Autumn..That time of year when the studios break out their Oscar-contending films.  I saw my first of the buzz-worthy fare last night – PT Anderson’s The Master, a gripping character study allegedly loosely based on the early days of a very controversial modern religion.  For those of you suffering from comic book movie fatigue, this film will not disappoint.  Stunning performances by Amy Adams,  Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Joaquin Phoenix.  The alternative titles will clue you in to The Master’s tone.

 

Codependency, Cocktails, and Coercion

NLP : SVU

Extreme Makeover: Passive Aggression Edition

Now That’s What I Call a Bully Pulpit

Sex, Lies, and NLP

I’m ready for my close up, Mr. Yankovic

Back in my corporate days, I wrote birthday song parodies for my co-workers, which made for a much friendlier, gentler party planning committee than on ‘The Office’.  Here is my latest attempt to strengthen my creative muscle.  My references may be a little dated, as I am a 99%er in the digitial divide.

Tweet on my blog all day (to the tune of “Bang the Drum all Day” by Todd Rundgren)

 

CHORUS

I don’t wanna work

I just want to tweet on my blog all day

I don’t wanna play

I just want to occupy cyberspace

 

Ever since the 1990s

Been caught in the web

Adapted early

Just need a keyboard and a mouse

Right and left clicking I don’t need to leave the house

 

I don’t wanna work

I just want to tweet on my blog all day

I don’t wanna play

I just want to occupy cyberspace

 

My cpu is always on

If leave my laptop

I get Facebook withdrawl

Touch screens and smart phones are my best friends

Until I’ve found out that the version is in

 

I don’t wanna work

I just want to tweet on my blog all day

I don’t wanna play

I just want to occupy cyberspace

 

Check my profile at my job

The boss gives me hassle tells me to stop

That’s okay ‘cuz when I get home

I’ll hack his email and give him a rick roll

 

I don’t wanna work

I just want to tweet on my blog all day

I don’t wanna play

I just want to occupy cyberspace

 

 

Song Parody Lyrics © 2012 Nymphatic Music

 

 

“We insist on personal responsibility and we celebrate individual initiative. We’re not entitled to success. We have to earn it. But we also believe in something called citizenship-a word at the very heart of our founding, at the very essence of our democracy; the idea that this country only works when we accept certain obligations to one another, and to future generations.”

- PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA

Hey Wonka, I want off!

I apologize, dear readers, for not posting for a while.  My head is swimming, or should I say that my psyche is drowning in a stew of political vitriol. I’m having a severe case of PES (pre-election syndrome). I’m haunted by the notion that everything I must do from here on out is or will soon become a political act, whether the task is grocery shopping, driving, job hunting, etc. There is so only much due diligence I can take. 

Trayvon Martin,  the Sandusky trial,  Bristol Palin, the Bachelorette, Kim and Kanye, SuperPacs, the War on Women, Donald Trump – it’s too much – and no amount of Daily Show or Colbert Report will ease my discomfort.  So please forgive me while a take a mental health break, and get out of this negative web I’ve created for myself.  I hear sunsets are nice this time of year.

RIB on Facebook

Name created from a suggestion by a co-worker of the female bass player and I, to play up the females who rock angle. I like acronyms and wanted RIB to be short for Rhythm and Intuitive Bliss to offset the biblical reference.  That was nixed for cheesiness, so henceforth we became (and still are in some ways) RIB.  Take a listen. Comment. If you do not like it, make your insults as clever as possible.  Art is subjective, but if you’re gonna diss mine, then you’d better come back with an artful response!  -BLAM!

Dig It!  http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/RIB/301935233174350

Armchair Producer

I watched a Marx Bros. movie marathon a couple of weeks ago and it got me thinking, if the Farrelly Bros have rebooted The Three Stooges, the Marx Bros are probably sure to follow.  (Cue Game Show music)  Time to play ‘Armchair Producer’. This is who I would pitch:

TRADITIONAL VERSION:

Groucho – Sasha Baron Cohen, Stanley Tucci, Jason Segel

Zeppo – Stanley Tucci, Mark Ruffalo, John Leguizamo, Neil Patrick Harris

Harpo – Steve Carrell, Peter Scolari, Teller (of Penn and Teller), Andy Serkis, Neil Patrick Harris

SUPPORTING CHARACTERS:

Young Lovers – Anne Hathaway and Josh Groban

Wealthy Patroness Countess Oondervaar – Maggie Smith

Director: One of The Davids (Mamet or Fincher), Coen Bros.

SURREAL REMIX:

Groucho – Bob Saget, Damon Wayans, Ty Burrell, Isaiah Mustafa, Jesse L. Martin

Zeppo  – Wayne Brady, Craig Robinson, Andre3000, Cee-Lo, Lin- Manuel Miranda, Christopher Meloni, Neil Patrick Harris

Harpo – Kevin Smith as “Silent Bob”, Dave Chapelle, Donald Glover, Ken Jeong, Mike Myers, Neil Patrick Harris

SUPPORTING CHARACTERS:

Young Lovers – Rosario Dawson and Joseph Gordon Levitt, FeFe Dobson and Bruno Mars

Wealthy Patroness  Countess Oondervaar  - Conchata Ferrell, Octavia Spencer, Holland Taylor, Cher

Director: Spike Lee, Kevin Smith,  Michel Gondry, Lana and Andrew Wachowski

FEMALE REMIX:

Groucho – Kristen Wiig, Bette Middler, Margaret Cho

Zeppo – Bette Middler, Margaret Cho, Maya Rudolph, Mayim Bialik, Selma Hayek, Raven Symone

Harpo – Amy Sedaris, Janelle Monae, Charlene Yi, Kristen Wiig, Amy Poehler, Mayim Bialik, Raven Symone

SUPPORTING CHARACTERS:

Wealthy Patron  Baron OOndervaar – Craig Ferguson, Michael Chiklis, Chris Cooper

Young Lovers – Taylor Swift and Scotty McCreery

Director: Barbra Streisand, Amy Heckerling

What say you?

The Cheesy vs. Corny Debate

Cheesy = kitschy; uber faux to be enjoyed ironically, nostalgic – in a good way

Corny  = out of place, outdated, nostalgic –but not in a good way

Feather Accessories = Corny

When I was coming up, the feathers were on ROACH CLIPS and everyone wore them in their hair.  I had no idea what the actual use of the clips was at that time, and I’m glad my mom did not allow me to wear them back then.  Every time I see a young’un wear a feather I chuckle to myself a little and flashback to when I begged my mom to wear roach clip feathers to a roller skating party.  Ah, if only life’s dilemma’s were that simple.

Yacht Rock = Cheesy

Big Earrings = Cheesy

jean overalls = Corny

TV show theme songs/old product jingles = Cheesy

Planking = Corny

TV Land = Cheesy

‘Cosby Sweaters’ = Dare I say BOTH?

What do you find cheesy or corny?  Please leave a comment.

Pop Culture Life Story

If my life were comprised of movie or tv show plotlines, mine would be this:

Freaks and Geeks (TV) meets Everybody Hates Chris (TV) meets Welcome to the Dollhouse (Film) meets Saved (Film) a pinch of Glee (TV) meets Greenberg (Film) with a dash of Almost Famous (Film) and Cosby Show (TV). That’s eight.  Can you give me your pop culture life story in 10 references or less?

My band broke up and all I got was a lousy, bitter feeling in my soul

I used to rock (I didn’t listen to the haters I grew up with!). Rather, I used to be in a phenomenal band called RIB. We worked our asses off. We laughed our asses off. But we couldn’t agree on the business stuff, and we broke up.  A band really is like a family, and sometimes you just need to get away from your relatives.  Most of the crew is still out there gigging. Me?  I’ll get back to music eventually, but for now I am getting mentally and physically strong. I am incredibly psyched for ’12 and have other aspirations that may take me in a whole new direction.  

What I don’t miss:  The jealousies, ego trips, and insecurity that lead to our demise (guilty of all 3!). 

What I miss:

Engaging in the creative process with like-minded individuals

The inside jokes and cheesy pop song riffs for comic relief

Practicing our assess off

Playing 3 shows in 1 night

Playing to 3 people the night of a snowstorm

Our music – I’m extremely proud of the work we did.   I’ll post links/files at a later date.

So, to my RIB family – I think about you all of the time.  And who knows, perhaps the universe may throw us together again and we’ll be wiser, more secure, better musicians, and more successful.  Whether or not we reunite, I wish nothing but the best for each and every one of you.

Love,

 -D-

Blah Buster

In the advertising world, TV shows are considered “those things that air between commercials”.  In that vein, I must keep reminding myself that work is what happens between life events.  It’s easy to get caught up in a daily routine, which can leave one feeling productive by American puritanical standards, but personally unfulfilled.  If you are unemployed or underemployed, then stress and frustration are added to the mix.  Wanna shake things up and rejuvenate?  Here are 5 (it’s the 21st century, everything moves faster) quick ideas to break your malaise:

1. Turn off the tech and grab a writing utensil.  Doodle. Make random lists. Draw a cartoon of yourself.  Free associate in your journal.   Write a fan letter. Write a letter to the editor.  Use snail mail to deliver. Support your local postal worker!
2. Move your body. Perfect your push up.  Walk around the block. Grab your significant other and Get It On!  The endorphins will kick in and boost your mood and alleviate aches and pains associated with depression.
3. Read a BOOK – you know, that tangible object with pages and with words.
4. Train your brain. Try writing with your non-dominant hand.  Practice mirror writing like Leonardo Da Vinci.
5. Take a 20 minute “power nap” or if you don’t have 20 minutes, meditate or sit quietly in your room for 5 minutes.

The point is to engage in an activity where the focus is on “being in the moment”; a happy distraction, if you will.  You may emerge from your moment with an idea for your job search or a new way to approach a problem.

Try it, you may be pleasantly surprised at the outcome.