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84th Academy Awards Crowdsource Proposal

I admit it.  I did a little happy dance when I heard that Eddie Murphy was not going to host the 84th Academy Awards, but stopped dancing when I heard who’s stepping in: Billy Crystal.  This could go either very well, or very badly, and I do not want to see America’s favorite Fernando Llamas impersonator go down in flames. I loved him in Soap, SNL, and his 90s films (Norman, Hellooo!), but methinks the young ‘uns may not take to him too kindly.

Here are a few suggestions to keep Mr. Crystal’s hosting legacy alive and well. Crowdsourcing garnered hype for Snakes on a Plane and resulted in an SNL booking for Betty White (Wizard of Ass!).  Maybe Brian Glazer (producer) and Bruce Vilanch (writer) should consider the following:

The 84th Academy Awards: a crowdsource brief initiated by blogger readmyblipps and her readers

Proposed Theme: Team OSCAR®

 Opening (This will work regardless of the NBA season status):

Billy Crystal is the main or “coach” host.  Tonight’s game is at home (Grauman’s) against the Harlem Globetrotters.  (ruh roh Shaggy); The starting 5 Shaquille O’Neal, Aisha Tyler, Steve Carrell, Stephen Colbert, Queen Latifah (it’s time for her to graduate from the Grammy’s before she’s uninvited like she was with the People’s Choice Awards) are announced by Michael Buffer with the catchphrase “Let’s get ready to OSCAR®”; Team Jersey – Black with OSCAR® statue picture on front, player name on back in gold text. O’Neal is injured at the initial jump ball – and wait for it – Elizabeth Hasselbeck substitutes (!)

All of the above have tv experience, and can deliver the zingers without veering into Ricky Gervais territory (for the record, I love the UK and US versions of The Office). And even if they do, which they might, considering the upcoming election, the audience response will probably be, “Oh that, (host name here)!” in an endearing grandmotherly tone.

 Other ideas:

  • White Men Can’t Jump parody “Short, Funny White Guys Can’t Host the Oscars”
  • The Help parody “The Hosts” with Latifah, Tyler and Hasselbeck
  • Superhero team parody “Billy Crystal and the Fantastic 5 Save the OSCAR(S)®”
  • Break dance movie parody “BC and The Fresh 5”
  • “Oscar Hall of Fame” sketch-  homage to Crystal’s SNL old time baseball player mockumentaries
  • Grumpy Old Men  parody “Grumpy Old Hosts”
  • That’s Dancing!/That’s Entertainment movie musical parody “That’s Hosting!”

 What NOT to do:

  • Occupy parody
  • Twillight parody

Your turn…Pass it on


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