I wrote the “Rudolph” parody -inspired by a comment from a very good friend of mine- on Saturday afternoon, as our first major snow was falling. I needed to express my frustration, confusion, and sense of hypocrisy for feeling like Franken was chosen as the Dems sacrificial lamb (mixed religious metaphors much?), and “Give myself the gift of writing,” as another counselor friend had advised. It was a cathartic exercise. Until…
Monday night, I was listening to a radio talk show discussing the Concealed Carry Reciprocity Act, (which passed in the House of Representatives)
There was a caller who said that not allowing gun owners to carry across state lines was akin to racial discrimination, and then said that minorities get preference for carrying weapons. The feelings of deflation that people of color, the LGBTQ community, immigrants, and women feel when hearing this rhetoric overcame me, and I declared out loud, “If this thing passes in the Senate, I don’t want to live in this world any longer. I will be a target for racists. I’ll take myself out before they do.” Then sobbed. Then prayed. Then I grabbed my journal, and saw this note:
From Emotional Alchemy, How the Mind Can Heal the Heart by Tara Bennett-Goleman:
“You can convert anger from a destructive emotion to a constructive energy. As I once heard the Dalai Lama explain, when we transform anger constructively, we are left with a clarity about what needs to be done and an intense energy to achieve our goals.”
No matter how bleak things appear, I’ve got to wake up every morning, and keep on keeping on. Contact Congress. Write. Sing. Get it out before it eats me alive. The supremacists want me to self-deport from this Earth – and I won’t give them the satisfaction! Even through tears, I’ve got to keep #resisting. I hope you will do the same.
Be compassionate and careful this holiday season.